I die a happy man though of course disappointed my adventure did not last longer. After a fulfilling life I bear no one or anything anger or hatred. My brain cancer was just a natural event though not so common.
I had the great love of my life with Jan and experienced many cherished memories. Unfortunately we were too different to hold it together but it allowed me to share in raising Andrew and Jennifer, the two most amazing kids who both exceeded by so much my expectations as a parent. I am so proud of both. After my flash of enlightenment at age 21 I spent my free time learning about the meaning of life and later putting my thoughts in my web site as a creative outlet. I felt inspired to have gained an interpretation of the flow of life, from both personal to international levels. From age 21 I was quite determined to treat everyone with respect and to thereby gain some respect in return. Being shy my insecurities were always a hindrance but I persevered. Recent visits by family during my recovery reinforced how much I need that reminder that love and support from family is so critical for maintaining my connection with them. I have felt much guilt of neglect of family during my business travels. My only regret now is I did not live long enough to share more adventures with my kids. With Zen as my foundation I always lived each moment to the fullest because there is only the now, the present, interacting with whoever is with me and doing what needs to be done right now. In life I embraced the natural chaos of nature and of people and I do not believe life follows some plan.
This was written in July 2017 after my doctor said I had only a few weeks to live. He was mistaken. I made minor changes on 2/14/2018
created - July 2017
last change - 02/14/2018
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